You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
