I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
