we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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