So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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