Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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