Fuck appropriateness.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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