Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize