Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
