Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
