The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
