accomplished twins. life is a go
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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