She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
