Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize