lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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