So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
