I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
