you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
