We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
