So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
