Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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