whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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