Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
