So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
