So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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