They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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