Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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