OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
pray to the hookup gods
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
