oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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