so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We are two peas in an std pod
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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