do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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