I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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