You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
