i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
