I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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