So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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