Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
3 2 1 whiskey
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
