Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I am naked and annoyed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
