I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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