Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
