let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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