It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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