let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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