is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
