She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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