Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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