so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
