My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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