arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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