not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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