Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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