I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
