i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
