so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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