So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
