I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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