we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
