would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize