That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
