Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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