There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
